The Friends We Ought to Be

A few articles back, I wrote about the kind of friends we need to have. I based this on 1Cor. 15:33 and what we read of Paul’s closest companion, Barnabas. What about us? Are we to stand idly by and merely scrutinize all of our acquaintances to find those who suite us best? Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” A man greater than Emerson once said, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.” If we are to make truly lasting and Biblical friendships, it starts with our own, personal actions. We learned from the past article to seek out friends like Barnabas, but I believe we must be friends like Paul and Titus. These two great men of God had four specific qualities that made them epitomes for our lives.

First of all, we must be concerned about the physical safety of our friends. In 2Cor. 2:13, we read that Paul “had not rest in [his] spirit, because [he] did not find Titus [his] brother…” He was concerned about his physical well being. As Christians, we have a responsibility to visit those who are sick and in prison (Matthew 25:40). We have a responsibility to pray for brothers and sisters in Christ in their infirmities (James 5:15,16). To be true friends, we must have a genuine concern for the physical state of our friends.

Next, we must rejoice when those close to us rejoice. “Therefore we have been comforted in your comfort. And we rejoiced exceedingly more for the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all.” (2Cor. 7:13). We read of Jesus weeping over the loss of a great friend (John 11:35), but we must not forget the joy He had with His disciples (John 15:11). Jesus’ life was filled with joy for others and we, as followers of Him and Paul, must do the same.

Third, we must be encouraging friends. Paul encourages Titus in 2Cor. 8:6, “So we urged Titus, that as he had begun, so he would also complete his grace in you as well.” We love receiving complements, but we must never cease to give them. Encouragement is needed in our world, and especially in the church. We need people who will encourage younger men to participate in public acts of worship. We need to be encouraging young girls to grow into being women of God. If we want to be true friends, we will encourage those around us.

Finally, if we are to be Biblical friends, we must be concerned about the spiritual well being of others. 2Cor. 12:18, “I urged Titus, and sent our brother with him. Did Titus take advantage of you? Did we not walk in the same spirit? Did we not walk in the same steps?” Paul’s “urging” in this verse is meant to help Titus in his ministry: a spiritual urging. He also sends someone to Titus to help him in his spiritual walk. The rhetorical questions also show Paul’s concern for the non-physical; he wanted to make sure they were “walking in the same spirit” and “walk[ing] in the same steps”. Ephesians 5:29 makes it clear how important the body is, but the soul of man is infinitely more important! “For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?” Matthew 16:26.

Let us always be wary of those we keep in close company, but may God also help us not to ever be those whom He would not want around.